Heroes, and how far a hero has fallen...

When "Heroes" came out last year, it was such the world-wide phenomenon that it seemed time stopped - no Hiro jokes - on Monday nights. Did "Heroes" herald the death knell of Monday Night Football? ( I have relatives in Wisconsin anxious to know the real answer to that one.)

But the show had it all - catchphrases: Save the Cheerleader, anyone? It had a cavalcade of really compelling characters; to me there didn't seem a weak link in the bunch, well, maybe until the very end. But each episode was something you anticipated, you waited for, you dreamed about, you wondered who you'd learn about this week, and who would be a good guy and whose allegiance would turn, and who was expendable this week. As we learned early on - no one was safe.

You grew to love Peter, who just wanted to help people and not harm anyone, and seemed the only one of Claire's real family that gave a damn about her. You championed Nikki in her battle with Jessica while learning she was an indominitable force of nature to be reckoned with. You adored Officer Matt Parkman who could hear your every hidden fear about yourself and would go out of his way to reassure you because it's just the kind of man he was. And Isaac...ambivalent at first but beloved in the end and died a worthy hero's death. Nathan - eh...you just couldn't tell. Until that one moment...."I'm not leaving you, Peter." And then he was a hero you loved. Flawed, but aren't most of the greats?

Cut to Year Two and the dreaded sophomore slump. Cripes, I admit I can barely remember half the episodes. Can Hiro come back from ancient Japan now please? Suresh and Parkman playing "My Two Dad's" and comatizing (is that a word?) a little girl in the process by confronting none other than - wait for it - Parkman's Dad, who hints that more powers are coming than just hearing thoughts. Super bad guy and keeps Molly imprisoned in her mind. Nice. Way to go Matt, on your own little unresolved personal vendetta to a deadbeat dad. Woo hoo.

Suresh works for the "Company" undercover with HRG as his outside contact, and HRG is just as shady as before. Claire gets a boyfriend and could not be ANY MORE BORING IF I WAS HER BABYSITTER. The boyfriend is annoying, can't take no for an answer - stalker material, Claire: WAKE UP. And a Mendez drawing shows Claire standing over her father's face as it's shot out at close range. Do we suspect the boyfriend? Eeeeem, mebbe.

The wonder-twins, Maya and whatever his name is are just annoying. Look, I drip black goo from my eyes. Didn't X-Files cover this years ago? But she and her brother must hold hands and the poison/killing will stop as he absorbs the power into himself. Wait, let's pick up this hitch-hiker. His name is , er, Gabriel, never mind the watch that says SYLER on it or the broken watch sounds every time he lovingly caresses your heads and promises you that he'll take you to Dr. Suresh in NYC and introduce you. No, it's not a coincidence; it's divine providence. Duh. I almost WANT Syler to get his powers back and just KILL them; cripes.

And what's with Joe's daughter Elle, Ms. Sparky MsSpark? Kill her off quickly. She has no longevity factor at all. She shocks people. Oookay. She's a psychopathic bitch catered to by her sociopathic father...huge character arc there.

DL is gone. New Orleans gal can glean knowledge from TV - oh, the creators of Sesame Street must be so proud - no wait, it was the WWE.

Is it just me or have we lost our way on Heroes? And is it too late to get it back? I want to see it succeed, I really ache for it to get back to that amazing edge-of-your-seat storytelling, but I don't know how much longer the public can forgive this slump.

Give us something, NBC. We gave you everything last year. We deserve something this year.

AND MORE CURVES WITH NERVES!!!

 

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